the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
