You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
