Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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