better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
