smell my finger.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
