i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
