She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
