Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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