Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
