worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
