What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
