I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
