I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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