dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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