I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
