some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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