what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
