God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
