why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
