you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
