just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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