Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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