My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
