I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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