when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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