just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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