Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
