like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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