its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
