It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
