Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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