You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
