I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
