I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize