do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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