their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
