Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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