You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
