I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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