that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
