for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
