Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
