I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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