We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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