She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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