I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
