If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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