It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
