You really coming over, don't trick.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize