Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
