An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
