If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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