Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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