why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
