that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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