Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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