Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
