Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
