my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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