Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just sent this text using only my big toe
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
