READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
