My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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